is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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