I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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