good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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