and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
