There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
