On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
