I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You've changed since you got that strap on
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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