Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize