Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
