she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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