my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
