I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
