No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
