I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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