i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Two words: blizzard sex
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
