So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
