Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
