No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
