Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
