i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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