We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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