Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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