Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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