Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I need to sanitize my soul.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
