I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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