whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
