There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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