Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
