His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
