I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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