Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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