Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
