I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
