PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
