There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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