Pregnant stripper...not hot.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
we're making bets on your personal life
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
