He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
