you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
