i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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