when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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