Bisexual people are plain selfish.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
