This girl is more easily done than said...
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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