It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
