i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
