Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
