i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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