I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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