we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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