i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
