i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Screwed.edu
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
