Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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