There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
