Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
