I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Randomize
