I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
