Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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