he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
