I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
