whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just cut my nipple shaving
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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